by Averi Clements for Bolde
One of the things that makes dating so stressful today is all the balancing acts we feel like we have to do to make things work out in our favor. We want to appear interested, but not TOO interested. We want commitment, but we also want to retain our freedom. It’s all so confusing, but it gets even worse when we start playing stupid, manipulative games with the person we’re seeing. I might have put up with this nonsense in the past, but now, I’d much rather turn into a crazy cat lady than have to deal with any of this stuff again:
1. FAKING DISINTEREST
When you like someone, the best way to catch their interest is to show them that you like them, right? So it makes no sense to pretend like you don’t want to talk with them or spend time with them even though you’re actually dying to see them, RIGHT? I used to think that, but now, I’m not so sure. These days, it seems like it’s standard practice to pretend like you’re not all that into the person you’re pursuing. Coming on too strong can make you seem clingy, sure, but pretending like you couldn’t care less about whether or not I like you is just as much of a deal-breaker.
2. TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS
If you think that flirting with other girls in front of me is somehow going to make me want to be with you more, you have another thing coming. But for some reason, this seems to be pretty common in the dating world. I’ll admit that I get a little bit of a rush when a guy gets extra affectionate with me if we run into one of my guy friends while we’re out together, but intentionally making someone jealous is just sh*tty. Sorry, but if you expect me to try to compete with the cute waitress while we’re out, you’re better off finding another girl to feed your ego.
3. TAKING FOREVER TO RESPOND TO MESSAGES
Okay, I’ve been guilty of this one, too. We’re constantly told that we should be the pursued rather than the pursuer, and that doesn’t get achieved by replying to a guy’s text five seconds after receiving it. We have to wait a little while, make him miss us before we finally make his heart rate spike by replying after an hour or so. Of course, they do this to us as well, and we know just how sh*tty it feels to try to not check our phone every five seconds and want to throw it out the window when it’s ANYONE other than him who finally makes it buzz. I’m fed up with this, though. From now on, I’m just going to reply whenever I damn well please, and if he’s the type to make me wait hours for a simple response just because he can, he’s going to end up finding out that I’m not the waiting type.