There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid if you don’t want to be a hipster.
1. Irony. It’s one of the great literary terms of our time. But do we even know what it means? That takes too much time to figure out. Let’s move on . . .
2. Hats. The only practical purpose they have is shielding your face from the sun’s cancerous rays. The infamous beanie can keep your head warm in frigid regions, preventing you from dying of hypothermia. They are so yesteryear.
3. Short, edgy haircuts. Sure, short hair might dry faster and be easier to style, but what if you want to grow your hair out again? What happens then? Don’t risk it.
4. Alcohol. Nothing spells hipster like a delicious and inventive whiskey cocktail. Avoid it at all costs.
5. Jars. Reusing jam jars might be an eco-friendly, portable way to drink your iced matcha, but I have a bigger concern here. The cups and glasses we used to drink out of are feeling so abandoned there might be an uprising. We should all be scared for our lives.